As I have been going through the loss of my precious mother, many have been worried about me. I know everyone handles grief differently. I know that it may appear that I have been strong, and I have tried to be there for the family, especially my dad. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a spouse after 53 years of marriage. I may have appeared strong, but I have felt very weak inside. I have felt intense pain in knowing that at least in this life, I cannot simply pick up the phone and call mom. She will never be there at our family Christmas, Thanksgiving and our other family traditions will never be the same. In this life I will never see her again. And that, in this life, hurts very deeply.